Men’s & Veterans’ Mental Health: Enough With the Silence

aplmartini2001
Aug 18
3 min read

Updated: Aug 25

A Gingersnaps Q&A

This isn’t the easiest post for me to write, but it’s one that needs to exist. Over the years, I’ve struggled quietly with PTSD, persistent depressive disorder, and anxiety. For a long time, I told myself my pain didn’t count because “others had it worse.” I stayed silent, even as I started losing friends and fellow veterans to suicide.

That silence is what pushed me to write this. Men’s mental health and veterans’ mental health especially, is too often ignored, dismissed, or hidden behind a mask. I’ve lived that silence. I know how heavy it gets.

To help me shape this piece, I decided to sit down with AI and have it interview me, question by question, about my own experiences. What you’ll read here is the result of that Q&A: my voice, my answers, and the raw truth, paired with hard facts and resources.

This post is my way of breaking the silence, and maybe giving someone else the push they need to speak up, to reach out, or simply to stay.

Q: Why are you writing about men’s and veterans’ mental health?

A:Because I’ve buried too many friends. Too many brothers I served with. Suicide has stolen more of them than war ever did.

For years, I brushed off my own struggles, told myself, “others had it worse.” That’s the lie men tell themselves to stay quiet. And that silence? It kills.

The Facts:

In 2020, over 6,100 veterans died by suicide—that’s 16–17 a day.
Since 2001, veteran suicide has gone up 57%.
Men in general die by suicide almost 4x more than women.

Q: What does living with PTSD, depression, and anxiety actually feel like?

A:Like getting sucker-punched out of nowhere. I can go to bed feeling fine and wake up crushed under a weight I can’t explain.

People say, “You hide it well,” or “What do you have to be depressed about?” They don’t see the energy it takes to fake a smile while you’re drowning inside. Hiding it is a full-time job...and it’s exhausting.

The Facts:

21 million Americans had a major depressive episode last year.
Men are less likely to admit it or get help.
Anxiety disorders hit 40 million adults, yet fewer than half ever seek treatment.

Q: What happens when you try to talk about it?

A:With men? With veterans? For a long time, the rule was simple: shut up and deal with it.

I’ve never had anyone straight-up mock me, but I’ve seen the look: shock, discomfort, like I just said something wrong. That’s stigma. Not the loud kind, the quiet kind. And quiet stigma is just as deadly.

The Facts:

Only half of men with mental health conditions ever get treatment.
Veterans avoid it even more, scared of judgment or looking weak.

Q: What helps...and what doesn’t?

A:Ignoring it? Doesn’t work. Shoving it down just makes it worse.

What helps is having an outlet. Talking. My wife has been my anchor, even when she probably doesn’t realize it. Recently, I finally sat down with my doctor. I got real about my depression, got on medication, and it’s helping. Next step is therapy, because I know I can’t untangle this mess alone.

The Facts:

Avoiding trauma doesn’t heal it. It locks you in.
Therapy works: treatments like CPT and PE are proven to help PTSD.
Medication + therapy has a 50–60% success rate for depression.

Q: What’s your message to other men and veterans?

A:You are not alone. There are others out there like you. And there are people who genuinely give a damn about you.

I live by the semicolon; my story isn’t over. Neither is yours.

So hear me: Just. Freaking. Stay.

The Facts:

Strong support networks: family, friends, peers are one of the biggest protectors against suicide.
Veterans who connect with peer groups are more likely to seek help and less likely to spiral alone.